I wonder if you all received what you wanted to receive this Christmas. Perhaps you received some surprises. Good surprises, I hope.
I have a childhood memory of opening a gift from my mother and being disappointed by it. It wasn’t what I wanted. I didn’t want to be a rude and ungrateful child, but I couldn’t seem to hide my disappointment. She kept watching me and she asked, “Don’t you like it?” I think I said yes, I do, but not very convincingly.
I was disappointed in the moment. Later I grew to like the gift very much, and I tried to tell her that often. Although I don’t think it made up for the poor way I received it.
Receiving gifts can be fraught with difficulties. Very often there are expectations we have with one another – that the gifts given and received should be approximately equivalent in value, that they should reflect a good understanding of the person they are given to. Sometimes we give a person something that we like, because we don’t actually know what they like.
Sometimes gifts come with strings attached. I’ll give you a gift that is supposed to make you forgive me for something I did wrong, for example. Or perhaps the gift I give you is intended to make you indebted to me. Have you ever had the experience of someone asking you why you gave them a gift? Sometimes there is an assumption that there are strings attached.
The best gifts are those given freely, with no strings, no expectations, no assumptions. And that seems to be the kind of gifts the magi brought to the baby Jesus.
There is no shortage of jokes about the inappropriateness of these gifts – when was the last time you saw frankincense at a baby shower? Despite our modern take on these items, they actually were very meaningful. Gold, frankincense, and myrrh were gifts that you would give to a king. Frankincense is a fragrant resin that can be used as a perfume or incense. Myrrh would be used for anointing. And I’m sure I don’t need to tell you how gold is useful.
Yes, I suppose they were not the most practical gifts – although I imagine they could have been sold for something they needed more – but the point is they were meaningful. These gifts clearly said, “We know who you are. We understand your worth.”
And that was all. The magi opened their chests and presented their gifts. Then they picked themselves up and returned home – by another way, because remember that King Herod was waiting for a report on where he might find this newborn king. This, then, was another gift the magi gave the holy family: they went out of their way to save the child from the wrath of Herod.
The magi didn’t hang around and watch the family to make sure they were using the gifts appropriately. They didn’t tell them what they ought to do with these gifts. They didn’t ask for anything in return. I know Mary didn’t even write them a thank you note because she wouldn’t have had a clue where to send it. The gifts these men gave were freely given, with joy, generosity, and gratitude.
Gift giving can seem so complicated in our world. It is very hard to escape the unrealistic expectations and obligations – both the giving and the receiving can be fraught with distrust and cynicism. It is so complex, I wonder if we are even able to recognize the kind of generosity the magi offered when it is offered to us. Perhaps we feel embarrassment because we don’t have something of equal value ready to give back.
One thing we try to learn in church is that God’s giving is not transactional. God does not give good gifts to us in the expectation that we give back. After all, we know that we are simply unable to offer anything of such great value. God gives to us out of love – that’s it.
And in the community of faith we practice this same thing: to give when it is needed, not expecting anything in return. To give out of love. And by the same token, to receive freely and gratefully the gifts that are offered.
We don’t always know the real value, in the moment such gifts are received. We might not be all that gracious about God’s gifts – unexpected and surprising as they often are. It is quite possible Mary and Joseph puzzled for days over the strange gifts of the magi. But the magi didn’t worry about that – they had moved on.
In this season of Epiphany, let us spend some time pondering the gifts we are offered and those we offer to others. Gifts that are hard to give, sometimes; gifts that may be even harder to receive.
Let us begin this season and this new year with thankfulness for the many gifts received, and let us set our intention to practice open-hearted generosity, offering God’s precious gifts to the world.
