… unless a grain of wheat falls …

John 12:20-33                        ²⁰Now among those who went up to worship at the festival were some Greeks. ²¹They came to Philip, who was from Bethsaida in Galilee, and said to him, “Sir, we wish to see Jesus.” ²²Philip went and told Andrew; then Andrew and Philip went and told Jesus. ²³Jesus answered them, “The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. ²⁴Very truly, I tell you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains just a single grain; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. ²⁵Those who love their life lose it, and those who hate their life in this world will keep it for eternal life. ²⁶Whoever serves me must follow me, and where I am, there will my servant be also. Whoever serves me, the Father will honor.

²⁷“Now my soul is troubled. And what should I say—‘Father, save me from this hour’? No, it is for this reason that I have come to this hour. ²⁸Father, glorify your name.” Then a voice came from heaven, “I have glorified it, and I will glorify it again.” ²⁹The crowd standing there heard it and said that it was thunder. Others said, “An angel has spoken to him.” ³⁰Jesus answered, “This voice has come for your sake, not for mine. ³¹Now is the judgment of this world; now the ruler of this world will be driven out. ³²And I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all people to myself.” ³³He said this to indicate the kind of death he was to die.

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Here’s something you can try:  make a list of 100 things you love.  Don’t worry about the definition of love; don’t obsess about whether something qualifies as true love or not.  Don’t worry about having “my children” come right after “deep-dish pizza” on your list.  Just don’t think too much about it at all.  Go ahead and start now if you like.  One hundred things you love.

Do you think it will be easy to come up with 100?  Or will it be hard?  About what point will it become hard?   Around number 50?  70?  Or around number 10?

The first item on my list is books.  I started listing my children at number 16 – but I am not ashamed!  The order in which I wrote them down does not reflect the quality of my love; it doesn’t mean anything that my children come after sandals, the color pink, and good French bread.  I would die for my children but I assure you, I would not give my life for a good baguette or my favorite sandals.  I’m not that worried about my priorities, but I’m ok with loving lots of different, crazy things.  How about you?

We need a lot of love in our lives – especially right now.

I don’t have to tell you how hard things have been lately.  Winter … Lent … death.  We have been challenged to maintain our sunny dispositions and our hope.  Spring is coming, but we are also looking at the hardest days of Lent ahead of us:  Maundy Thursday and Good Friday and Black Saturday – before we can get to Easter Sunday. 

I don’t mind telling you that number 9 on my list is a sunny spot by the window.  We take our blessings wherever we find them.

We know we’re getting close to the cross, and Jesus knows it too.  He refers to it as “being glorified,” which strikes me as a little strange and a little unnerving, because we know that the path to his glorification will be a ghastly affair.  Another one of those paradoxes, I guess, that the gospel serves us. 

Jesus might be a little unsettled by it too, and this is why I think so.  In John’s gospel Jesus is usually Mr. Cool.  He’s utterly in control, self-assured, wise beyond all wisdom.  So it’s surprising to find a little bit of uncertainty when he says, “Now my soul is troubled.” 

At our midweek prayer study we had an interesting conversation about whether it’s really ok to ask God for the things you want.  Some said no; they felt very strongly that the most appropriate thing to ask is that God’s will be done, just as Jesus suggested in the prayer he taught his disciples.  And never assume you know what that will is in any particular circumstance.  Others felt that it’s okay to ask boldly for whatever you want and with regard to God's will, just trust God to sort it all out.  After all, Jesus also told us we could ask for anything. 

Yet ... here ... Jesus doesn’t seem to do that.  He might want to be saved from the hour of suffering, since he brings up the subject, but he resists making that request.  He says, “No – this is what I am here for.”  The only way out of it is through it; the only way to resurrection is through suffering and death.  But he does ask for one thing:  Father, glorify your name.

And then, just as it happened at the time of his baptism years earlier, it happens again: a voice speaks from the heavens and offers assurance.  This time, the voice says, “I have glorified it and I will glorify it again.”  Through the unspeakable suffering there will be glory; in this sacrifice there will be redemption.

Jesus says to the people who were standing around, “this voice has come for your sake, not mine.”  But maybe, a little bit, for his sake too.  To have his father in heaven come alongside him, encourage him, love him – is this not a precious gift?  Remember, Jesus was fully human and every human needs love to carry us through the good and the bad days.

Number 31 on my list is rocking chairs.

We need to be loved and to love, as long as we are alive.  It’s what makes us know we are alive.

Some seasons hold more death than we would like, and this has been such a season for Faith.  We have grieved the loss of two vital members of our family in the past couple of months – very hard loss.  This is the gift and the cost of being family together – we share our losses. 

And in addition each one of us has experienced our own personal losses and hardships.

And in this season of Lent we collectively experience the death of Jesus and the suffering of the world he took on in his passion, and we are reminded that death is always with us – that it is inevitable – unavoidable – on our way toward life. 

We are reminded that unless the grain of wheat falls to the ground it will be no more than a single grain of wheat.  But if it falls to the ground and dies it will bring forth much new life. 

We know that many things die so something new can be born.  Every year we see the leaves fall from the trees so new buds can form in the spring and life can continue.  We know that old desires sometimes must die for growth to take place in human beings. 

We know that Jesus calls us to pick up our own cross and follow him, to die to the old life and be born again, and to do it not just once but whenever it is necessary – and in some ways it is necessary every single day.

To die to sin each new day, to reject Satan and the forces of evil and make a new commitment to life, to love, every day.

Number 58 is sitting with my family around the dinner table.

If we are recommitting to life every day, we are going to have to say goodbye to some things because everything has a lifespan.  If we want to commit ourselves to life, we sometimes need to say goodbye even to things we love.

Number 75 is good memories.

This life that we have been given is worth loving because it is so full of both joy and sorrows, and sometimes there is joy hidden in the sorrow.  This life is so breathtaking because each day it offers us new gifts, surprises, some new delight, some bit of pain that comes our way, sometimes the gift of a new insight – and gratitude.  This life we have been given is for living fully, in all its joys and pains and laughter and tears and struggles, all the sharing and caring, the giving and receiving – all of it; from the highest height to the deepest valley of tears.  This life is yours to live – the mistake is in letting fear get in the way of living it.  Fear is the thing that stops life.

The sounds of children on a playground is number 63.

Soon it will be Easter morning, but before that will be Good Friday.  Soon will come resurrected life, but before that some things must die.  We need not be afraid of death, of letting go.  We can still love what we must let go; as long as we are moving toward life, we have not really lost the things we love. 

Death happens along our life journey, but as G.K. Chesterton said, this is not something for resurrection people to worry about.  We believe in life.  We believe in love, in all shapes and sizes, at all times. 

What are the things you love?  Now is the best time to think of them.

May you have at least 100 things that you love. 

May you be grateful for those loved things and people that have died.

May you always, fearlessly move toward life.