The Gifts of Women

Ruth 1:7-22    So she set out from the place where she had been living, she and her two daughters-in-law, and they went on their way to go back to the land of Judah. But Naomi said to her two daughters-in-law, “Go back each of you to your mother’s house. May the Lord deal kindly with you, as you have dealt with the dead and with me. The Lord grant that you may find security, each of you in the house of your husband.” Then she kissed them, and they wept aloud. They said to her, “No, we will return with you to your people.” But Naomi said, “Turn back, my daughters, why will you go with me? Do I still have sons in my womb that they may become your husbands? Turn back, my daughters, go your way, for I am too old to have a husband. Even if I thought there was hope for me, even if I should have a husband tonight and bear sons, would you then wait until they were grown? Would you then refrain from marrying? No, my daughters, it has been far more bitter for me than for you, because the hand of the Lord has turned against me.” Then they wept aloud again. Orpah kissed her mother-in-law, but Ruth clung to her. So she said, “See, your sister-in-law has gone back to her people and to her gods; return after your sister-in-law.” But Ruth said, “Do not press me to leave you or to turn back from following you! Where you go, I will go; Where you lodge, I will lodge; your people shall be my people, and your God my God. Where you die, I will die— there will I be buried. May the Lord do thus and so to me, and more as well, if even death parts me from you!” When Naomi saw that she was determined to go with her, she said no more to her.

So the two of them went on until they came to Bethlehem. When they came to Bethlehem, the whole town was stirred because of them; and the women said, “Is this Naomi?” She said to them, “Call me no longer Naomi, call me Mara, for the Almighty has dealt bitterly with me. I went away full, but the Lord has brought me back empty; why call me Naomi when the Lord has dealt harshly with me, and the Almighty has brought calamity upon me?” So Naomi returned together with Ruth the Moabite, her daughter-in-law, who came back with her from the country of Moab. They came to Bethlehem at the beginning of the barley harvest.

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I wonder what everyone is thinking when they see Naomi and Ruth arriving in Bethlehem.  Two unaccompanied women walk into town.  But women should not travel unaccompanied.  In fact, women should not exist unaccompanied in this world.  I know that sounds harsh, but it is a harsh world in which they live.  A woman without a man is no one and nothing. 

This is the world in which they lived.  This is the plight they faced. 

As they draw near, the people of Bethlehem see that one of these women looks familiar.  Is this Naomi, the woman who left years ago with her husband and her two sons?  What a fine family they were.  But what brings her back now, and why is she alone?

And who is this stranger with her?  She looks foreign.  We don’t know her, we don’t trust her, she isn’t one of us, of that we’re quite sure.  So why is she with Naomi?

The women of Bethlehem approach Naomi tentatively.  Is it you, Naomi?  Yes, but don’t call me that anymore.  Sweetness?  I am no longer that girl.  Call me Mara, call me bitter, for the Lord has dealt harshly with me and I have not forgiven God yet.

I think the others might have unconsciously backed away then, just ever so slightly.  How off-putting she was, an angry, bitter, empty woman. I don’t know if they saw in Naomi the need that was there, as she was wearing this angry shell.  But Ruth did.

In this world, at this time, there was no place for Naomi and Ruth – a pair of widows, outcasts.  A woman with no husband and no sons had no one – no one and nothing.  It was a very harsh world for Ruth and Naomi.

Back in Bethlehem, the first thing was to figure out how they would survive there.  It was the time of the barley harvest and they had the right to glean in the fields.  This was a right reserved for the destitute – to walk through the fields behind the harvesters, plucking up what they had missed or dropped on the ground.  It was not much, but enough to get you through the day.  Naomi, presumably, was too old to work in the fields, so Ruth gleaned for both of them. 

You should know, as Naomi and Ruth knew, that this was a precarious way to make a living.  This was truly a hand to mouth existence.  One small misfortune could be the end of everything.  I think they knew they needed another way.  In a world where there was no way.

Well, this is where the story gets really great.  Using Naomi’s wisdom and Ruth’s youth they devised a way.  They found a kinsman, an upstanding, righteous man named Boaz – his name means “in him there is strength,” so there you have it.  Ruth had the youth and grace and beauty to arouse his attention and interest.  Naomi had the knowledge of the customs and laws of the land.  Together they made something good happen.  With Boaz, they could make a claim on the land that would have belonged to Elimelech’s descendants.  To make a long story short, Boaz married Ruth and she gave birth to a son, whom they named Obed.  Obed would someday have a grandson named David.  King David.

All this because two women, Naomi and Ruth, clung to each other and found a way out of no way.  I wonder if, perhaps, this is one of the gifts of women. 

Throughout history, women have been denied the rights of personhood. They could not own property; they could not even own their own bodies.  They could not have a career, they could not vote.  They could not divorce their husbands, although their husbands could divorce them if they wanted to.  There were very few decisions a woman could make for herself throughout most of history.  But women found strength in one another.  And in putting their heads together they could find a way around many of the restrictions to get what they needed, to survive, to thrive.  One thing women knew, from their personal experience, is the idea of rugged individualism is pretty ridiculous.  When the cards are stacked against you, you are nothing without friends.

The world is different now than it was for Naomi and Ruth.  We see how wrong it is – how absurd it is – to try to deprive women of their full personhood.  We can look at the quiverfull movement of the Duggars and other families and know how outrageous it is to treat women as objects to be utilized for childbearing and little more.  We know that women have many gifts to offer, much like men do, and are quite capable of being fully functioning human beings in society.  In our world it’s hard to get our heads around the reality of Naomi’s world, Ruth’s world. 

But it might be worthwhile to remember how it was, and to recognize the special gifts of women that got them through all kinds of stuff.  It’s worth remembering how it was for many reasons, not least of which is that women still carry these gifts within them.

We don’t shrug off millions of years of history and evolution that easily.  I think women still intuitively grasp that there is strength to be found in the shelter of one another. 

Ruth committed herself to Naomi, and Naomi then committed herself to Ruth.  Together they had a chance.  Even though they still didn’t have any rights, they had the strength they drew from one another, the imagination and energy and resourcefulness they needed to make a way in the world.

One of the women at the roundtable told a story from her own life.  When she was a young bride her husband went off to war. She was pregnant with her firstborn, and she went to live with her mother-in-law and sisters-in-law while her husband was on the other side of the world.  Her mother in law was a widow.  She supported the family by running a printing business in the basement of their home.  Sometimes she would work all night long, running the printing press down in the basement.  The younger women all pitched in with the work around the house, some of them had jobs outside the house, and together they made a way under very difficult circumstances. 

Months went by and this young woman learned that her husband was missing in action.  Later, they learned that he was being held as a prisoner of war.  Through it all, they found strength in one another.  There came to be a bond of love and appreciation between these women – mother and daughter in law. 

The fact of the matter is we do need one another – women and men, both. It is probably something that men learn in war – that they need one another – but I think women learn it in the rhythms of daily life: the bearing and raising of children, in sickness and in loss.  Like the poet John Donne said, no man is an island entire of itself; no woman is either.  We may feel independent and invulnerable in our strong moments.  But in our weakness we know how very much we need one another.

I am grateful for the women who cared for me over the years of my life, and those who still do.  I am grateful for the women who have inspired me to be more caring, more welcoming, more courageous, more giving by the example they set with their lives.  I am grateful to have been surrounded by strong and wise and generous women, because without them I don’t know what I would be or where I would be today. 

May we give thanks for the Naomis in our lives, who have guided us and shown us the way in times and places when there seemed to be no way.  May we give thanks for the Ruths in our lives who have blessed us with their loyalty and their steadfast love, supporting us when we could not support ourselves.  And may we learn from these fine women and do likewise.