Some years ago When I was a campus
minister, I knew a student named Megan – a very dear young woman. She had this
ability to find the silver lining in everything. Megan could find something
hopeful in every disappointment, and she would always say: “In a way, I’m glad
this happened,” and then she would tell me how she had found some new
opportunity in the setback. Megan had a talent for reframing her
disappointments.
Of course, these were all relatively
minor disappointments. I don’t know how she would have handled a real crisis,
the kind of thing Joseph was thrown into again and again and again.
So much has happened to Joseph since last
week, when he was trotted off to Egypt with the Ishmaelite caravan. There he
was sold to Potiphar, an official in Pharaoh’s court, and Joseph rose quickly
in Potiphar’s household, soon put in charge of everything. But then Mrs.
Potiphar came along and, as the book says, she “cast her eye” on Joseph. When
Potiphar found out, he had Joseph thrown in jail.
Where he languished for years. But
during that time his gift for interpreting dreams was recognized and put to
use. Other prisoners would seek him out to help them understand their
circumstances better. It was here that Joseph interpreted dreams for Pharaoh’s
chief cupbearer.
Years later, the chief cupbearer was
back in his position serving Pharaoh, and he remembered the man from prison who
had interpreted dreams – and that’s how Joseph finally came to Pharaoh’s court.
It was a long road of suffering for Joseph. We have to remember that to imagine
how it felt:
When the day arrives that Joseph sees
his eleven brothers in the palace of Pharaoh. The eleven brothers who had
thrown him into a pit, and then pulled him out to sell him into slavery. The eleven
brothers who had then gone home and lied to their father, telling him Joseph
was dead. The eleven brothers who, for all these years Joseph had been exiled,
enslaved, imprisoned, they had been in the comfort of their family home,
surrounded by loved ones. Imagine how Joseph felt.
To see these eleven brothers who
treated him so cruelly, now all of them bowing to the ground before him – at
this moment, imagine how he felt.
How would you have felt?
I should add that this scene when
Joseph reveals his identity to the brothers is not the first time he has seen
them – that’s important. And the fact that they don’t recognize him – that’s
important too. This all gives Joseph
some time and space to figure out how he feels about this.
And what he figures out … is how the
hand of God has moved through all of this.
Joseph sees God in everything that he
has been through. He sees how every single thing that has happened to him has
led to the next thing and the next thing and the next thing – and finally taken
him here, in the same room with his brothers and in a position to save his
whole family from famine.
Joseph sees the hand of God in all of
it – he sees design instead of malice. He sees purpose and meaning. And because
he can see all this, he can forgive his brothers for their deeds. Joseph is
able to let go of it, and to experience gratitude instead of resentment.
What is it like to be able to exchange
resentment for gratitude?
I can think of conversations I have
had with people who carry their bitterness for years. They cannot forget, they
refuse to forgive for how they have been hurt. I can recall people who have
carried around resentment for the losses they have experienced in their lives,
never forgetting them and never letting them go.
But, on the other hand, I remember a
story shared with me by my friend Jean, who has a son with schizophrenia. At a
certain point, the family decided that it was best for her son to move out of
Jean’s home. She inquired about getting him into a group home but discovered
there was a years-long waiting list. So instead Jean helped him get an
apartment, and tried to make it work. She drove over every morning to bring him
coffee and cigarettes. When I asked her why she couldn’t just do it every few
days or once a week, she said that if she gave him a week’s worth of cigarettes
he would smoke them in a day.
But her son was an easy target for
anyone who would take advantage of him. Pretty soon he was befriended by some people
who wanted to do just that. They began using his apartment to make drug deals.
When the police showed up and arrested the drug dealers – Jean’s son was
evicted.
Jean was in crisis. She made a phone
call to find out where they were on the waiting list for a placement in a group
home, hoping it was moving faster than expected. She explained the situation
over the phone and she was told that now everything was different. Since he was
evicted, he was considered homeless, and that put him at the top of the list.
Jean’s son was placed in a group home within a week.
Jean told me this story as a way of
saying this is how God sometimes works. If her son had not been abused by the
drug dealers, and if the police had not come in, and if he had not been
evicted, he would not have been moved to the top of the list and found the home
that was right for him.
Sometimes a terrible thing opens the
way for a good thing to happen – not that we should minimize the terrible
thing. But, perhaps, we can see it as a part of a process, part of a greater
whole. And the truth is, you are the only one who can do that for yourself.
Joseph was only able to forgive his
brothers because he was able to see that every one of us has our part to play
in God’s great design. And I would even say that, probably, every one of us
takes our turn playing the villain in some way.
There is an incredible gift for Joseph
when he declares that God has given his life purpose and meaning. It is the
gift of grace, gratitude, forgiveness.
How can you receive this same gift?
May you look back on the hardships and
losses of life and ask if there is a way God was present in it.
May you reflect on present hardships
and losses and ask God to show you the blessings in it.
May you look beyond the hardships and losses, and trust that God will work through it all, bring you through it all, and carry you into the presence of Jesus.
Picture: Joseph Embracing Benjamin. Painting by Yoram Raanan
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