Monday, September 18, 2023

Operating Instructions

 

Psalm 149

Matthew 18:15-20      

This past week I was reading an article in Christianity Today about things that are going on in the Southern Baptist Convention. A few years ago, you may remember, there was a lot of news about acts of abuse by pastors that had taken place in Southern Baptist churches. The victims of abuse were speaking out and the denomination as a whole was forced to confront it. Last year at their annual meeting they voted for reforms that would make them more effective in addressing, and hopefully preventing, cases of abuse. That was a good move.

But it turned out the move was controversial in its own right. Some protested that it was unfair, that it was inappropriate, that it was too expensive, or that it was suspect in some way. It grew into a messy conflict-ridden problem. And this year at their annual meeting, it was almost as though they had decided to forget all about the matter. This year they were all about reasserting the commitment to male eldership, as they call it. Which means enforcing rules against women in leadership roles. They even removed certain congregations from their denomination – they call it disfellowshipping – because these churches have women leaders.

To use a term that session has been playing with lately, I would call that a squirrel: something that snatches our attention away from the task at hand. Maybe even a distraction that we intentionally create for the purpose of avoiding the real problem. The problem of abuse in the church was something they found very difficult, understandably. So they dug up an old favorite, dusted it off, and decided it was the most important issue of the day.

There is much more I could say about these issues, but today I only want to raise the point that we are very good at distractions, and we are not very good at dealing with conflicts. It’s true for Southern Baptists, it’s true for Presbyterians, it’s true for people, as a rule. We don’t know how to deal with conflict.

Our denomination has a book of rules, it’s a part of our constitution. We call it the Book of Order. It covers all kinds of things: how we govern ourselves, how we worship, how we handle membership, and what we do when a pastor or an elder crosses a line and harms someone or the church as a whole.

Or, in the words of Jesus in this passage, when a member sins against you.

This episode in Matthew is the only place we see Jesus speak about the church. And, actually, “church” is not the word that Jesus would have used because there was not yet a church. That came years later when the followers of Jesus moved outside the realm of Judaism. Whatever word he used when he spoke of these matters, what is most important is that he was talking about how communities manage conflict.

Jesus tries to make it simple, breaking it down into three easy steps. First, approach the one who has caused offense. Let them know how they have caused harm. And if that works, great. Problem solved.

But if it does not, go to step 2: bring a couple of other people with you to be witnesses. Sometimes that will work in bringing an offender to repentance. But if it doesn’t, go to step 3, which is basically to take it to the authorities. Let the church deal with this person.

Nowhere do Jesus’ instructions say: take it out to the parking lot. Nowhere does he say: go home and yell at the kids, kick the dog, have a few drinks – you’ll feel better. Jesus clearly tells us: when you have a problem? Deal with it.

He has to tell us this, because most of the time we are so bad at it. Most of the time we avoid directly dealing with a conflict as if it were electrified. Most of the time we would rather put our head in the sand or find a squirrel.

Someone once told me that if a church says they don’t have any conflicts, that means they have conflict all the time. Because if they aren’t dealing with it, it’s always just under the surface.

I think maybe we avoid conflict so religiously because we are afraid of the harm that could come from facing it. Explosions, fights, grenades. But then perhaps we are failing to understand the Jesus method for conflict management. Which is something that involves patience and love, forgiveness and repentance and reconciliation.

And if you get to step 3 in Jesus’ operating instructions, and the offender still doesn’t budge, then he says “treat that one like a Gentile or a tax collector.”

And don’t forget that Jesus built his church out of Gentiles and tax collectors.

The steps may be simple but that doesn’t make it easy. The good news is that Jesus is right by our side through it all. For when two or three are gathered in my name, he says, I am with them.

Thanks be to God.

Squirrel! Photo by Maddie Franz: https://www.pexels.com/photo/brown-squirrel-on-gray-tree-trunk-1571117/

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