Some years ago When I was a campus minister, I knew a student named Megan – a very dear young woman. She had many beautiful qualities, but one that really endeared her to me was this ability Meagan had to find the silver lining in everything. Megan could find something hopeful in every disappointment, and she would always say: “In a way, I’m glad this happened,” and then she would tell me how she had found some new opportunity in the setback. Megan had a talent for reframing her disappointments.
Megan had her share of disappointments, thankfully all of them the non-life-threatening kind. I don’t know how she would have handled a real crisis, the kind of thing Joseph was thrown into again and again and again. I hope she never has to.
So much has happened to Joseph since he was trotted off to Egypt with the Ishmaelite caravan. There he was sold to Potiphar, an official in Pharaoh’s court, and Joseph rose quickly in Potiphar’s household, soon put in charge of everything. But then Mrs. Potiphar came along and, as the book says, she “cast her eye” on Joseph. When Potiphar found out, he had Joseph thrown in jail.
Where he languished for years. But during that time his gift for interpreting dreams was recognized and put to use. Other prisoners would seek him out to help them understand their circumstances better. It was here that Joseph interpreted dreams for Pharaoh’s chief cupbearer.
Years later, the chief cupbearer was back in his position serving Pharaoh, and he remembered the man from prison who had interpreted dreams – and that’s how Joseph finally came to Pharaoh’s court. It was a long road of suffering for Joseph. We have to remember that to imagine how it felt:
When the day arrives that Joseph sees his eleven brothers in the palace of Pharaoh. The eleven brothers who had thrown him into a pit, and then pulled him out to sell him into slavery. The eleven brothers who had then gone home and lied to their father, telling him Joseph was dead. The eleven brothers who, for all these years Joseph had been exiled, enslaved, imprisoned, they had been in the comfort of their family home, surrounded by loved ones. Imagine how Joseph felt.
To see these eleven brothers who treated him so cruelly, now all of them bowing to the ground before him – at this moment, imagine how he felt.
How would you have felt?
It has probably been about 20 years since the brothers dumped him in the pit. Joseph’s life has gone on and he has done quite well – in a position of power, fully immersed in the Egyptian culture. Yet, one does not fully forget trauma like Joseph has been through. It lives somewhere within us. What must it have been like for Joseph to see his brothers after all this time?
I should tell you that this scene when Joseph reveals his identity to the brothers is not the first time he has seen them – that’s important. And the fact that they don’t recognize him – that’s important too. This all gives Joseph some time and space to process it, to figure out how he feels about this.
And what he figures out … is how the hand of God has moved through all of this.
Joseph sees God in everything that he has been through. He sees how every single thing that has happened to him has led to the next thing and the next thing and the next thing – and finally taken him here, in the same room with his brothers and in a position to save his whole family from famine.
Joseph sees the hand of God in all of it – he sees design instead of malice. He sees purpose and meaning. And because he can see all this, he can forgive his brothers for their deeds. Joseph is able to let go of it, and to experience gratitude instead of resentment.
What is it like to be able to exchange resentment for gratitude?
I can think of conversations I have had with people who carry their bitterness for years. They cannot forget, they refuse to forgive for how they have been hurt. I can recall people who have carried around resentment for the losses they have experienced in their lives, never forgetting them and never letting them go.
But, on the other hand, I remember a story shared with me by my friend Jo, who has a son with schizophrenia. At a certain point, the family could not ignore his sometimes-violent tendencies, and so they decided that it was best for everyone if he moved out of Jo’s home. She inquired about getting him into a group home but discovered there was a years-long waiting list. So Jo added his name to the list, and then she moved him into an apartment on his own, and tried to make it work. She drove over every morning to bring him coffee and cigarettes. When I asked her why she couldn’t just do it every few days or once a week, she said that if she gave him a week’s worth of cigarettes he would smoke them in a day.
But her son was an easy target for anyone who would take advantage of him. Pretty soon he was befriended by some people who wanted to do just that. They began using his apartment to make drug deals. When the police showed up and arrested the drug dealers – Jo’s son was evicted.
Jo was in crisis. She made a phone call to find out where they were on the waiting list for a placement in a group home, hoping it was moving faster than expected. She explained the situation over the phone and she was told that now everything was different. Since he was evicted, he was considered homeless, and that put him at the top of the list. Jo’s son was placed in a group home within a week.
Jo told me this story as a way of saying this is how God sometimes works. If her son had not been abused by the drug dealers, and if the police had not come in, and if he had not been evicted, he would not have been moved to the top of the list and found the home that was right for him.
Jo never said to me that she believed that God wanted her, and her son, and her entire family to suffer in the ways they had. She did not believe that. Jo did not even consider the notion that God had actually designed such a twisted and frightening and dangerous path for her son. She simply believed that God is able to bring blessing out of hardship. And I believe that too.
God is always there, watching. I don’t say that God is a master puppeteer, pulling all the strings on us but God is with us. God’s dream, as I said last week, is for all people to be fed and to thrive. God’s way is to love and increase love in the world.
We are careless, and often cruel, people. We hurt one another unnecessarily. We fail to care for the most vulnerable around us and make excuses for why we are not responsible for any of the suffering we see. These are the kinds of things we say in our confession of sin every time we gather for worship. We are broken people who often break things. But we also know, as we are reminded every week, that we are forgiven by our God who loves us.
Sometimes a terrible thing happens, because of what we do or because of what we fail to do. and sometimes a terrible thing opens the way for a good thing to happen – not that we should minimize the terrible thing. But, perhaps, we can see it as a part of a process, part of a greater whole. And the truth is, you are the only one who can do that for yourself.
Joseph was able to forgive his brothers because he was able to see the way that God used what was evil to make something good – and God used him, Joseph, to do it.
All kinds of things happen in life that would seem to be out of God’s control. Yet, stories like this one show us that God has ways of redeeming us from the pits of despair, redeeming relationships that seem beyond repair. God has ways of redeeming time, working back through time and making good use of misfortunes that we have experienced.
There is an incredible gift for Joseph when he declares that God has, in a surprising way, given his life purpose and meaning. It is the gift of grace, gratitude, forgiveness.
How can you receive this same gift?
May you look back on the hardships and losses of life and ask if there is a way God was present in it, working through it.
May you reflect on present hardships and losses and ask God to show you the blessings in it; ask God to show you the wisdom there is to be gained from it.
May you look beyond the hardships and losses, and trust that God will work through it all, bring you through it all, and carry you into the presence of Jesus.
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