In my years as a campus
minister I read a lot about what young adults think about the church, and most
of it is not cheery. One of the books I read is called Unchristian: What a New Generation Really
Thinks about Christianity. The first sentence of the first chapter is,
“Christianity has an image problem.” Did you know that? You probably already
knew that.
It gives us much grief that
most of the ugly stuff that comes out of the church is what gets the most
public attention. We sometimes complain that we don’t get credit for the good
things we do – and there are a lot of good things we do. It feels frustrating
when we realize that the world is painting us all with the same broad brush
whenever some church leader with a microphone makes some appalling statement, like
“the hurricane happened because God is angry with the gays,” or whatever
happens to be the hot button issue of the day.
The church has a reputation
for being all about judging others. The church has a reputation for making
pronouncements that seem to promote a worldview where there are insiders and
outsiders, those who are God’s beloved and those who are displeasing to God. I
have been guilty of voicing such opinions myself.
The church has a reputation
for talking one way and acting another – of saying, “All are welcome,” and then
making people who are different feel very unwelcome; of saying “Jesus is the
reason for the season” and then cancelling church on Christmas because the
members would rather stay home and open presents. Behind every accusation of
hypocrisy is the possibility of a long and helpful conversation, but those
conversations rarely happen. Most of the time, the initial impression does all
the talking.
It is a fact that greatly
distresses us. The word that is most closely associated with Christian in our
culture is – hypocrite.
Christians are often called
hypocrites because we preach love but often act in unloving ways. Christians
are sometimes called hypocrites because we preach generosity but often act in
ungenerous ways. We know these things are true, and we feel discouraged, or
perhaps angry, that our shortcomings earn us the label hypocrite. Sometimes we
might behave as hypocrites, but much of the time we are just fragile and flawed
human beings like everyone else.
The truth of the matter is
that it is not easy to be a Christian. In fact, Jesus told us that – not in so
many words, but he surely hinted as much when he said things like “take up your
cross and follow me,” and “the gate is narrow and the road is hard.” Following
Jesus, being a Christian, is a hard thing to do.
And so, even if we are
trying every day to do the right thing, we might still be called hypocrite
because we will never get it exactly right. We will always fall short. I think
the bigger problem might be that we are so rarely willing to admit it.
It is a funny thing – the
church is very hard on those who fail – including ourselves, maybe especially
ourselves. I have been thinking about this for the last few years, ever since I
went to a church conference and heard about a project called Failure Lab.
It was started by a couple
of guys, Jordan and Jonathan, who had an interest in destigmatizing failure. They
noticed that the typical inspirational story starts out describing a failure,
and then goes on to say how that failure led to some great success and changed
the person’s life. This is great. But how does it help you if you have never
yet felt the success part? What if you have only experienced the failure?
Jordan and Jonathan wanted
to see how it would work to just put the failure out there all by itself. So
that’s what they did. At every Failure Lab event, someone gets on stage to tell
a story of personal failure. They are not permitted to whitewash it, assign
blame, or tack a “moral of the story” on the end. They just put it out there
and walk away.
The audience then is given
some time to reflect on it. They are invited to share what the story means to
them – they can tweet their comments, in 140 characters or less. Audience
members might see some moral of the story and tweet it; they might see some
value in it and tweet it. But the main value in Failure Lab is not the tweets,
it is the act of taking your failure and just laying it out in the open. Folks
who have done it say it is liberating. You have taken ownership of your
experience, told your story, and lived to fight another day.
It’s not only the
storyteller who benefits. When you are sitting in the audience, and you hear
someone else telling their story of failure, it might feel awkward – but you
know you are not alone. The fear of failure begins to melt away and you begin
to feel the confidence that no failure can destroy you, no failure will take
away your hope.
The church needs Failure
Lab. We need to develop the confidence to tell the stories of our failures –
our sinfulness, our shortcomings, the times we miss the mark and fall short of
the love we profess to believe. We need the courage to stand up and say to ourselves,
to God, and perhaps one other person, just how we have been crushed by our own
weaknesses.
Why does it matter? You
might ask. it’s a good question.
A young man I knew during
campus ministry days once told me about his evangelizing experiences. He and
another student went door to door in the dorms to invite others to join them
for Bible study. It wasn’t at all uncommon for them to get a response like,
“You Christians are such hypocrites! You say one thing and do another.” But
what was unusual was the way these two young men tried to respond to it. They’d
say, “yes, you are right. We say one thing and do another. We don’t live up to
our hopes and expectations. We sin and fall short of the glory of God. We know
that. We’re just trying to do better. And we want to invite you to join us in
studying the scriptures and trying to do better.”
To be a Christian is to be
a sinner, because in our human state we can hardly avoid it. But it goes
further than that – to be a Christian is to know you are a sinner and confess
your sin. To be a Christian is to have your sights set on something higher – these
words from Paul in this chapter of Romans will do quite well – and to seek,
with the help of God, to keep your eyes on the prize. To be a Christian is to strive
every day to know the difference between good and evil and to respond to either
one – good or evil – with love. To be a Christian is to try always to practice
compassion, forgiveness, humility, and – just maybe – to be honest with one
another about how hard it is.
To be a Christian is not to
be perfect, but to know how imperfect you are. To be a Christian is to try hard
not to hold other people’s imperfections against them. To be a Christian is to
love and welcome other sorely imperfect people into the fellowship of sinners
who are all in training to become saints.
Jesus chose to associate
with sinners – imperfect, flawed people. He sat at their tables to share their
food, and he invited them – and us – to sit at his table as well. He extended
this love to us, and simply asks us to keep paying it forward. We come to his
table knowing we are flawed and forgiven, knowing we are being offered
spiritual food that strengthens us in love.
We come to Christ’s table
for communion with him – but not only that. We come for communion with one
another. Being a Christian is hard. No one can do it alone. We need each other.
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