The Enemies of Gratitude, Part 5: Disappointment

Deuteronomy34:1-12        

A simple question was asked at the roundtable this week: Why didn’t Moses get to enter the promised land?

Why not, indeed? Having asked the question, we needed to go back and address it. Why did God refuse Moses the opportunity to enter the promised land, at long last? It was all because of Meribah.

Do you remember Meribah? The name means quarrel. Meribah was a place we visited with the Israelites a while ago, early in their wilderness journey. Meribah was the place where they panicked because there was no water. Meribah was a place of desperation, and then, fulfillment.

At that time they were wandering, going by stages through the desert, and they stopped at this place, but there was no sign of water. The people turned on Moses – “Why did you bring us out of Egypt to kill us with thirst?” – and Moses turned to God – “Help me! They’re going to kill me!”

So God helped Moses help the Israelites, by leading him to a rock which would bring forth a gush of water, assuring them once again that the Lord was with them.

Was that all that happened? It depends on what you read. The book of Numbers gives us more detail, saying that God instructed Moses take his staff, the staff with which he had already performed many wonders, and assemble the people before the rock. Command the rock to give its water, and the water shall flow. But what Moses did was actually a bit different.

Moses took the staff and assembled the people, then said to them, “‘Listen, you rebels, shall we bring water for you out of this rock?’ Then Moses lifted up his hand and struck the rock twice with his staff; water came out abundantly” (Numbers 20:10-11).

“But the Lord said to Moses and Aaron, ‘Because you did not trust in me, to show my holiness before the eyes of the Israelites, therefore you shall not bring this assembly into the land that I have given them.’” (Numbers 20:12) That’s the story.

At the waters of Meribah, where the people of Israel quarreled with the Lord, Moses lost this hope of someday entering the promised land. For he had, apparently, failed in making it all about him. Maybe Moses was getting a little high on this power God had given him. He had this awesome staff – is it possible he had started to feel like the power was in his control? If not that, maybe these people of Israel had gotten to his last nerve and he just lost it. Whatever it was, it hardly seems that bad, does it?

Moses had been faithful and obedient from the beginning to the end. He had been steadfast in trusting the Lord and providing good leadership to Israel. He had done everything he was asked to do, all toward the hope of someday reaching the promised land. But Moses would not get that chance.

And twisting the knife in the wound, God takes Moses up to the mountaintop to let him see what he won’t get. Look at all this land. Beautiful, isn’t it? You’re not going there. Oh well.

How disappointed Moses must have been. How disappointed we are on Moses’ behalf.

We know all about disappointment, we are all too familiar with the concept. Let us count the ways:

The hope of a pregnancy that never materializes or, perhaps worse, ends prematurely in miscarriage. The dream of a family gone.

The child, for whom we had such bright hopes, whose life is turned upside down by mental illness or addiction.  The dreams for this child’s future now gone.

The young bridegroom who goes to war and comes back a triple amputee.

The man who suffers a massive heart attack and dies one week before his planned retirement, leaving his wife a widow.

The husband whose tragic accident renders him unable to work with four young children at home.

The cancer that cuts a life short. The economic downturn that steals your retirement funds. The fire that destroys all our hearts treasures.  We all know disappointment. Life is full of disappointment.

But perhaps even worse than the disappointment we feel about such loss, is the loss that occurs as a result of disappointment: disappointment, as justified as it may be, robs us of our joy and gratitude.

The grieving woman who, unable to have children of her own, can take no interest in children because of the bitterness of her loss.

The widow who isolates herself in her bitterness about being left alone just when she and her husband were on the threshold of their golden years.

The father unable to work, whose embarrassment about his plight prevents him from loving his children and wife.

Getting stuck in our disappointment prevents us from moving forward with our lives, however they might unfold. And this is a tragedy, my friends. For isn’t a life, no matter the great plans that were destroyed, still a precious life?

We all have our personal tragedies. And no one of us can tell another just what their tragedies ought to teach them. None of us has the right to assign meaning to someone else’s suffering. But each one of has the potential to discover something greater than misery in our own disappointments.

Each one of us has the possibility of seeing our own short life in the context of something great. What part is your life, it’s pleasures and beauties and tragedies, in this grand narrative of God’s story? From the many who came before us, some of whom we remember with love, to the countless who will follow us, what part do we play? How do each of our disappointments connect the pieces of the past and the future?

Moses didn’t set foot in the promised land, but he did see it. He got to know that he had been instrumental in bringing his people there. And, trusting in God as he always had, he knew they would arrive there.

Gratitude has many enemies, we have seen during these past five weeks: nostalgia for the good old days, worry about the future, entitlement about what we think we deserve, greed for all kinds of things we don’t deserve or need, and disappointment about all that was lost, all that might have been.

Each of these enemies reveals a failure to welcome each moment of this life for the gifts that they offer. God has a memory that stretches way back, and a plan that looks well into the future. The best we can do is to live each moment of time. We will find, again and again, that the present moment is full of gift. In receiving what is offered, this is where we find joy. And for this we can be truly grateful.